grrrawr

i haven't written in this journal in FOREVER. plenty has gone on, just not enough time to sit and write about it.

short summary of the past year:
graduated high school. spent the past year at CSULB where i discovered that i miss high school work. but i do love the college life. i lost old friends. made new friends. discovered weed. met the most amazing person alive and fell in love. and i am still in love. parents divorced. dad went crazy. mom is a bitch. my sister got married. i got my first F. i grew up and i am now girly. yuck, how did that ever happen? haha. i found a full time job. i have a family of alcoholics. i want to get married one day and have kids. i know what i want to do with my life. i am extremely happy.

this blog sucks. i will vent more when i feel upset. but everything seems good right now. its almost time to go home.. well another hour and a half. i am ready to work out. yeahhh.

so ALLiE is one of the best people in the world. last night we all went to feshawi's to go smoke some hooka. but on the way me chris and melissa decide to drink. i had some alcohol that i bought a few nights ago in my car. so we stop in a neighborhood and drink about half the bottle. oh and at my house we each had a can of sparkks. so we get to the hooka bar feeling way good. then allie shows up and mafi doesn't charge her. saves my ass five bucks! and thennnnnnn chris and melissa want to go home and we have MY car so i have to leave. me and allie weren't tired so we head off to james's house but never make it there. allie puts in the coyote ugly cd. omg that cd is horrible when i am drunk. we ended up calling about 5 people and singing/screaming [as alicia said] in their voicemails for about 2 minutes per person. you can say that my voice was pretty much gone by the end of the night. we end up going to a party in HB with my friend jeff and play mario brothers. then almost got ourselves involved in a game of spin the bottle. someone mentions that they went and ate buscits with their best friend and me and allie get all excited and decide to go to denny's to eat buscits and gravy. we get there and im on the phone with alicia and two guys across from us are like "hey we look like you two" cause one of the guys was on his phone. but i just wanted to say to him "yah, except for i have hair on my head" then they go and ask us if we just got back from a bar called VOLCANOES. hello we are only 18!! stupid ass. but the buscits and gravy tasted way good. good night.. very good night. i was in bed all day trying to make up for last night. BBQ tonight. rootbeer floats as we speak.
<3

so i'd have to say after finals. having time to myself with no work. being with my friends cause school was coming to an end. and high school finishing. i had the best time of my life. i hung out with people i never thought i'd ever see again. i got money from people i didnt even know existed. i shopped and spent amounts of money on one item of clothing i thought my mom was going to shoot me. i semi got caught up with my sleep knowing i didnt have to work for a whole week. i saw my best friend that i missed ever so much. i drank my liver away. graduation was awesome and high school came to an end. then gradnight was a night in its own. then my interesting party with the bounce house. oh and we can forget about the addicting discovery of feshawi's. but all in all i had the best time ever. thanks to everyone who been a part of it. let the good times keep on coming!! <3

i gave in.. i did it! i gave my BLOOD! at first it came about as a joke, then turned into reality. i know i am making it seem like a BIG deal, cause it was! talk about being nervous. then having it take over 2 hours! and hurting.. like woah! the whole squeezing and taking it out wasn't too bad.. but then it got to the coming out part. i was relaxed by then, but evedentually not relaxed enough. the needle coming out of my skin. the extra blood oozing out of my wound. then i looked over at the BAG of BLOOD and i was out. passed out for a while. my skin white. my eyes viewing nothing but black. my skin clammy. im over it. now i just want to SLEEP.
that was copied from a myspace post. but today was crazy. now im going to nap my blood back to normal. then time to study for some tests tomorrow. i decided to go with chris to barstow this weekend. watch his race for once before i head off to SD. so this is me and my jamba juice saying bye.
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so lately i've been going out A LOT. i think ever since i've turned 18 and got rid of my damn curfew, i've been running on NO sleep. it feels nice to finally be able to go out and not worry about when i have to be home. yet at the same time, the lack of sleep STINKS. i guess you can say i have been taking full advantage of my age: going clubbing, getting a hotel room for prom, damn i even bought cigarettes just for the hell of it. funny funny stories about this past week, HOLLYWOOD with alicia and the bands especially. met some neat people including this band ateriavia from chicago. i wish i could go out there, maybe one day.

i decided that i'm going to do the summer bridge program at sdsu. so that means i am leaving for college july 11th. that is way soon, but i guess i am more than ready. i let my work know, and they were totally supportive of my choice. i am not really looking forward to tomorrow. paperwork, graduation announcements, and dealing with my brother. but the night life should be fine..

<3

So its my birthday and i guess its going okay. alicia and allie got me some dinosaurs and baloons. then trashed my car with foam in which i had to pick off with alysse. took about 30 minutes. and my car still looks like crap. im kinda upset about that.. but the idea was nice. word of advice, dont put foam on anyone's car that you like. they'll learn to hate you. so im walking around school with some baloons and a dinosaur and cupcakes that alysse made for me. and baloons from Q and andrew and cindy. thanks everyone. now its time to dry my eyes and soon head to work. im not looking forward to being at work, i dont like people asking me how old i am and then giving me a look like i am lying. but then dinner tonight at benihanas with my family and chris and his family. it should be enjoyable. i guess its time to go back to doing some work.
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tonight was me allie and chris's bday dinner @ don ramon's. it was fun.. good.. and i really liked my present! i think i'll have to test it out sometime. thanks chris! but tomorrow is my bday.. i don't really know how much i am looking forward to it. it seems that everything related with being 18 is sex. it may sound nice, but i still want to be a kid. the only thing im looking forward to is clubbing! omg YES! the lights.. the clothes.. the people.. the music.. the DANCING! omg YES. i can't emphasize enough how happy i am about the clubs. i've never been to one either. haha maybe its not as great as i anticipate it to be.
so prom is coming up and im not feeling it AT ALL. i have my dress, shoes, makeup, hair, and everything like that set up.. its just the date and money part that is not coming together. im broke. hes broke. i'm starting to think going stag is a good option. plus i want to DANCE. and in which he doesnt. so im slowly getting over the anxiety of prom.
final thought.. happy legal bday to me!
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i am finally updating! i feel rad. so much has gone on since i got into that stupid accident. i have my new teeth.. 2 months later. its spring break. im working full time. i got into sdsu! me and alicia are going together. this should be interesting. i met the most amazing person in the world.. eric. he just blows me away. i could go on about him.. but i wont. those are MY thoughts for MY mind. and you can all just know that he is AMAZING. and you should all be jealous of him! haha. i've been way lazy lately. not doing much of anything besides sitting around and watching tv. its finally baseball season again! i get to watch the lovely angels kick some major ass. i acutally had a discussion about the angels with my sisters boyfriend over easter dinner. im crazy foo. lol. shows hav ealso been a must lately. so many wonderful ones going on! the format has been the best i have yet to see.. and i get to see them again soon! yay. my bday is coming up.. im almost legal. and then that weekend is prom. i have yet to ask eric. im kinda scared to ask cause he doesn't like to dance. i think i'll wait a week or so. but the plans for bday week: go to dinner during the week for me allie and chris' bday. then friday night is the strip bar. and saturday is prom. then graduation is almost here. in a way i am scared.. but i am also way excited. im so happy right now. everything is going GREAT.
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so yah my stupid ass was sitting on a car and it was moving and i fell off. not very bright of me. so i fall on my face and roll and stuff and whatever. my chin is bleeding and i look down and my tooth is on the ground. so i went to the hospital. was there for like 4 hours. took some cat scans. nothings wrong with my bones. my nose is swollen. but its not broken. my face is all scratched up. 3 stitches on my chin. my tummie has road burn along with my knee. many bruises. and i have NO TOOTH! and i can't get that fixed til tomorrow. so in the meantime im sittin here feeling like ass with a missing tooth. you better believe i took pics. i'll be laughing at this moment til the day i die. <3

so today i learned that money is the root of all which kills. i think thats a quote from someone but hell like i remember. but yah money. today i ask my parents for money so i can get some stuff im running out of at target cause i realize that im totally out of money. my parents think that the only reason that i am nice to them is so i can get their money. the only reason i ever want to do something with them is because i want their money. my brother told my mom today that our family is fucked up. she thinks its cause we took advantage of her. but she doesn't understand that its cause of my dad we are messed up. i honestly dont feel like having everyone read this but i honestly need to vent. then i think about school. the only reason i am stressing out over these finals is cause i want to go to a good school. then i think deeper into that and honestly i dont have the money to do that. and i dont have the desire to want to pay off loans when i get older. so i say fuck all of this.. fuck everything i've worked for. money just makes you go mad! then i look at pat and see how happy he is with his money. i mean tonight he went gambling. it really makes me sad looking at him just inviting me to throw away money like that. i dont even have any then hes throwing his away. now winter formal is here and thats gunna cost an ass load of money. honestly im not ready for it. im not ready for my life to go on. im scared. <3

wow haven't updated for a long while. nothing has been going on. still hanging out with pat. he's lovely. school is blahhh. i'm not doing TOO bad. work is fine. i actually have some motivation to do stuff around work now. i decided that i am not going to san francisco for college anymore. i am staying around here. i am too happy with my friends and everything that is going on to even want to think about leaving. omg formal is coming up! i have my dress my shoes the tux.. but NO DATE! ahhhh.. what am i going to do? this is pathetic. but everything else is going great. the whities are gunna look superb!! gotta love us! <3

hmm.. haven't updated for a while. i guess my nights have been the same. either been with chris melissa alicia or pat. hmm.. but this break has been SO MUCH FUN! i am so glad that i didn't go to san francisco. i made miggie kinda sad, but hey! i'm having fun with my FRIENDS. this break has made me see who my TRUE friends really are. funFUNfun. now i'm bored. and its WAY COLD. just waiting around for pat to ring. maybe movies again? oh well. tomorrow night! omg so so so excited. the ladies got some nice velour outfits to wear. we are gunna be styling. oh so fun. and i'm gunna drink til i can't breathe anymore. ahha maybe not that much. but i'm gunna have fun. omg today i got my eyebrows waxed and the damn lady took off half of my eyebrow! i am so lucky that i have my bangs to cover it. ok yah i'm done <3

MERRY CHRISTMAS <3

omg james just came over. he's so great! he got me dinosaur toys!! omg so so so fun!! haha. i'm just too excited. and he got a sticker made for me that says i <3 dinosaurs. how awesome is that? haha too too cool. and tomorrow. or today i shall say. peter pan comes out!! yay!! me and my new guy are going to go watch it. wow i'm stoked about this. what a good christmas. <3

i've been having lots of fun lately. i met a guy at ed's bday party at danny's house last weekend. we've been hanging out and having lots of fun. i really like hanging out with him. i bought him flowers for his birthday yesterday. today was a bust. the pictures my sis and i took for my mom were really BAD. so it was no fun. but i think i got her enough for christmas.. there is always her birthday. so now i have a headache. i think its time for me to sleep. nothing more for me to do until dinner tonight. <3

i love the winter break!! omg. lack of sleep.. new boys.. alcohol.. presents.. and fun!! <3

wow amazing night last night. i didnt get to HOOTERS til about 9.. didn't eat but whatever. still had FUN! the party was off the hook. [never thought i'd ever say that.. but its the ONLY way to describe it] danny and the rest of NP are awesome. i told myself that i wouldn't drink.. but with ALL the influence around me, i got suckered in. i ended up staying the night in my car. haha how lame. [going to bed around 4 and waking up at 8] wow too fun. it really was a night! now to recooperate today.. and then more partying!! PJ night at my house. muahaha so so fun!! <3

yesterday.. very fun day at school! man o man i think the teachers were on to us. but wow. so so fun!! but then i went to work.. and everything was back to normal. yah then after work me and alicia went to irvine spectrum. we saw mona lisa smile. i rate it a C. it was long and drawn out.. but the end i almost cried. it was so hard not to.
today.. i slept in til 3! i am so crazy. i thought i was getting sick but no. i'm not. buahaha. then i ate inNout. omg i haven't had it in 2 weeks. thats SO long. hahaha i'm such a loser. blahhhh i'm going to hooters now!! so so fun! <3

yesterday.. it was EDDIE'S bday. he came over around 9 and we watched the OC. that was the highlight of my day. haha lame day it was. but they the OC was SO GOOOOD!
today.. boring school. but the anticipation of tomorrow. man o man. presents.. food.. and vodka! how much better can it get? how about do nothing in class.. then have 2 weeks off afterward! man how i love the day before winter break. i was way too generous with gifts this year. whatever. i'm nice like that. but omg i took some rasberry lemonade juice bottles and added a little rasberry smirinoff twist to it. oh so yum. then i have my "water" oh yumm. i hope that i'll be okay for work. my HOT PINK backpack will be rockin tomorrow. today jay gave me an indian burn. he gave it to me around 6. its now 9 and it is still there. FUCK him. he put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night. but then i made some rice crispie treats and set up all my crap for tomorrow. lalalal time to study!! <3

i have live journal again. hope it doesn't go wrong. eddie convinced me to get one. i guess i'm back to the stupid addiction. well bahhh lame ass entries you will read. but hey i'm cool so that just makes my entries much much cooler. im at school. alysse is cool! oh so cool! sukkkah. <3